Moving back and forth and back again.
Sometimes I wonder if I’m just living my life backwards.
I had a plan and a heart for life moving forward. Living forward meant the life I had though I would have. Now I sit in the midst of a big Plan B, wondering what You are up to.
Because to my human mind this seems backwards. Shouldn’t I have done some of things when I was younger. Isn’t now supposed to be “too late”?
But You put beauty in the backwards.
What I perceive as backwards, You illumine as the plan You have had for me. A plan that You have never abandoned, although I have many, many times.
So that’s why it feels backwards!
Because I walked away from what you had for me some many times. But now I have the grace-filled opportunity for You to still use me.
I am humbled and in awe at how You do for me.
And when my finite mind and other people look at my life and all we think is “backwards” ~ You will be there to remind me that I am actually moving forward in Your will…Your way.
I cannot comprehend because Your thoughts are higher than mine. So you use the “backwards” to remind me of this ~ that You are in control and that You still have a plan. What seems to be Plan B to me is really the ultimate plan You have always had in mind.
Even if I feel like I’m moving backwards.